emily313 (emily313) wrote,
emily313
emily313

sad

i put Robertson to sleep today Sept. 22nd at 6pm. they let me spend two hours petting and kissing him beforehand which was nice. he was very calm and sleepy so that made me feel better. i didnt think i wanted to watch the vet put him to sleep at first but then changed my mind. i watched him take his last breath and he went so fast it made me feel at peace...somewhat. i got to kiss him goodbye again and then left. im going to have him cremated and then i want to spread his ashes at my dad's house in michigan. he has a really nice old house and i want to plant a tree there too.

its so hard. he seemed like he still had so much life in him. he looked at me and was responsive to the scratches i gave him. but when he would try and stand he howled. to keep him alive any longer would have been terrible and selfish. i know i did the right thing. but i will miss him forever. seriously forever. he was bar none the most special animal in the world. and i have had many special animals in my life so that is saying a lot. i feel like im going to have this void in my heart forever and that is painful. otto seems very depressed too. ususally hes extremely cuddly but he just wants to howl and hide tonight.

i think i may go check out a shelter tomorrow and see some cats. maybe its too soon. i think just seeing all these kitties will make me feel good. i want to help out an 2-3 year old cat that needs a warm home. i have so much love to give.

robertson i will always love you!!!
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